FRANKLY SPEAKING…
Welcome to the very first edition of “Frankly Speaking”! My name is Frank Palmer, and I have been a member of Faith MBC since September, 2025 and I have over 44 years of pastoral experience. The purpose of this page is to answer a number of questions that church members often wonder about but either don’t know who to ask or we’re just afraid to ask them. Some of the questions we’ll be looking at include: “how do I figure out how much to tithe?”, “What if another church member hurts my feelings?”, “How can I support my pastor and encourage other church members?” The page will be updated regularly, so be sure and check back from time to time to see the latest question and answer added to the list below. This blog is focused solely on “church member practicalities” and not so much on bible interpretation or doctrinal issues (there are other pages on the website for that). If you have a question please let me know and I will answer it honestly and frankly. Thanks for stopping and taking a look.
How can I support my Pastor?
How well do you really understand all that your pastor does? Oh sure, we know he preaches on Sunday, visits us when we’re in the hospital, always smiles at us when we shake his hand at the close of the morning service. But how well do understand your pastor, and the challenges that he faces because he is your pastor? What can you do to be a better source of support for him, his family, and his ministry. Granted, there are pastors who have abused the office/position of pastor, but those are the exception to the rule, most pastors strive to fulfill, with God’s help and to the very best of their abilities, the office of pastor.
To get started, let’s notice some of the struggles a pastor deals with that most of us never notice?
1. The pressure to always be strong - to always be “on”. They carry our burdens, while silently carrying his own. People expect unwavering faith, constant wisdom, and zero weakness. But pastors face the same challenges and struggles we do. Behind every message is a man asking God, “Do I have anything left to give?”. You pour yourself into the morning message - a message you’ve prayed over, worked over, thought over - and then seemingly no response at the invitation. And then he begins with the questions that come after every message - “Did I miss something?”, “Could someone else be better for this church?”, etc.
2. He faces spiritual warfare at a higher level. When you’re calling involves leading people to a closer relationship with Christ, you become a target. Not just emotionally, not just mentally, but also spiritually. The attacks are deeper. The resistance is heavier. The discouragement is louder. Because if the shepherd falls - the sheep will scatter.
3. He is often lonely. The pastor is surrounded by people - but often starved for real connection. Who pastors the pastor? Who do they talk to without fear of losing trust? Who listens when they’re the ones facing a breaking point? But here’s something most folks fail to realize - pastoring can be the loneliest place on earth.
4. He carries a heavy weight of responsibility. Every word matters. Every decision impacts lives. They’re not just sharing messages - they involved in shaping souls. That weight doesn’t turn off after Sunday. It follows them home. Into their thoughts. Into their prayers. Into their sleep.
5. There are sacrifices their family makes. Ministry doesn’t just cost the pastor. It costs their spouse. The children. Their time. Late-night calls. Emergency visits. Endless preparation. Sometimes the very people they love most gets what’s left - not what’s best. And the pastor feels that - deeply.
6. They too battle with sin and grace. Yes, even pastors wrestle with sin. Temptation doesn’t disappear with a title - in fact, more often than not, it is amplified. And here’s the breaking point - when they fall short, the shame hits harder because they “should know better'“.
With this mind, what can every one of us do the better help, support, and encourage our pastor?
1. Your pastor needs your prayers, every day. Let him know you pray for him (and his family) daily - ask him what are some specific needs he has that you can pray for. Throughout his writings, the Apostle Paul, thanked many people who prayed for him (Rom. 15:30-32; Eph. 6:18-20; Col. 4:2-4; 1 Thess. 5:25). One of the very best things you can do to help your pastor is to pray for him every day. Try not to just casually mention his name as your progress through your prayers - but take time to truly lift him up to the Lord in prayer!
2. Your pastor need your encouragement. This is more than just, “that was a good sermon, pastor” as you exit the sanctuary after the morning service - that’s expected. Look for ways/opportunities to encourage your pastor when it’s not expected. Instead of just saying, “Good sermon” - tell him why it was a good sermon, what was it about the sermon specifically that spoke to you. Make learning about your pastor a personal project: find out what authors he likes, what are his hobbies, what’s his favorite restaurants/coffee stop/etc., what’s his favorite ice cream, what things do he and his wife like to do for fun, favorite sports team, etc. The list of things is only limited by your own imagination - the more you learn about him, the more little things you can do to encourage him now and then. Don’t wait for October (Pastor Appreciation Month) to encourage him - that’s expected. Find ways to encourage him that are unexpected! (Idea - not to long after beginning my first pastorate in Eureka, CA, I had made a comment about having experienced rhubarb pie and really liking it. A couple of weeks later, I entered my office and there on my desk was a homemade rhubarb pi! It sure made my day!). Always be on the lookout for ways/opportunities to encourage your pastor (and don’t be quick to take credit for your actions)! Be intentional and be specific when you offer encouragement to your pastor.
3. Your pastor needs your understanding. Several years ago, I was shaking hands at the conclusion of the morning service, when a church member came through wearing a new suit. I simply commented, “That’s a nice looking suit”. The fellow behind him, had a new shirt on, and when he shook my hand, I didn’t notice the new shirt and therefore, I didn’t make a comment on his new shirt. From then on, he stopped speaking to me. Picking up on this, I went to his house to find out what I had done to offend him. He told that I had complimented the fellow on his new suit but said nothing about his new shirt. It was never my intention to ignore him, but he took offense at it. We were able to repair our relationship, but try to give your pastor the benefit of the doubt before you get angry at him. And if he does something that bothers you, go and talk to him about it, face to face. Pastors often have to address difficult matters that need addressing in the church - know that most pastors would rather not have to address difficult matters, but sometimes they have to be addressed. Remember, your pastor is the under-shepherd, and he has been charged with talking care of and looking that flock (the church) that God has made him overseer of. Heb. 13:17 - “Obey those who rule (lead) over you, and be submissive, for they that watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you”. Give your pastor love/graciousness when you don’t agree and trust when you don’t understand.
There are other ways you can encourage/strengthen your pastor. Here a some ideas: Be the first to encourage and the last to criticize. Never be a party to tale-bearing about your pastor. Let him know that you’re willing to serve and what specific areas you can be used in. There will be occasions when you won’t agree with your pastor or you may not like a direction he is trying to lead the church - but remember these 3 things you can do for your pastor: Pray for him, encourage him, and do your best to understand him.
Let’s close with some good things to remember:
1. Your pastor loves God and you a lot (Be mindful).
2. Your pastor is a limited human being (Be realistic).
3. Your pastor probably has a fairly low view of his “performance” (Be kind).
4. Your pastor wishes he were a better preacher (Be awake).
5. Your pastor really does want God’s best for you and your family (Be open-hearted).
6. Your pastor’s work knows no time or locational boundaries (Be patient).
7. Your pastor hears much more negative information than positive (Be encouraging).
8. Your pastor has been called to a vocation in which few remain (Be praying).
9. Your pastor has chosen a highly leadership-intensive call (Be lead-able).
10. Your pastor needs help (Be available).
11. Your pastor’s God-given vision is bigger than himself and the church (Be faith-filled).
12. Your pastor wants to personally meet all the needs, but knows he can’t (Be understanding).
13. Your pastor is going to say (and sometimes do) some dumb things every now and then (Be forgiving).
14. Your pastor and his family are patient with you, so be patient with them (Be conscientious).
15. Your pastor is greatly encouraged by your faithfulness (Be there).
Hebrews 13:17 - “Obey those who rule (lead) over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you”.
